Mixed Emotions ~My April Content~

Current Changes

As you may have noticed, my website has changed. YAY!

I felt like I needed to rebrand, to be clear on what the website is for. I always sign my work as Sazzy K, so to make it all connect. Anxious Butterfly, is now “Sazzyk-art”.

I still have a few more adjustments I need to make, but thank you coming to browse my website and I hope you come back again.

Content – Mixed Emotions

While I have taken a break for a couple of months. There is something I have been struggling with. Regulating my emotions. I haven’t had any chances to go out on my own to recharge. There have even been days where my LO refuses to nap. Thus meaning that 45-50mins I had to myself during the daytime was lost. Resulting in later nights as I try to catch up with what I wanted to do. I know that I should really get as much sleep as possible, but I need to work on my Bujo to help keep on top of things.

Anyway, I was working on this digital piece for over a month. I started painting it, hated how it looked, started again, also hated how that look, start over. This process repeated many times. I even started watching digital painting tutorials to see what I was doing wrong. Yet when I tried to do what was shown in the video, it still didn’t look right.

Thus, I gave up and went back to cell shading and it came out a lot better. I think I was trying to over complicate things. It turned out a lot better than I thought it would. I regret that it took me so long to actually finish it.

Life

Over the past few months I’ve been struggling with finding time to get everything I want to do done. My LO is getting into everything. I’ve turned the rest of our guestroom into a play area. All of her toys are in the room, so it confines most of the mess to one room. It also means that now I can do a little bit more of what I want to do as my desk in the guestroom. She can play, and I can work.

However, she does frequently come up to the baby fence while saying “Hug, hug, hug”. Resulting in me picking her up, and sitting her on my lap at my desk. Its like a breather, but lasts longer than I hoped. I’ve gotten a little used to it. Still frustrating though. Yet another aspect of parenting I have to get used to.

While I plan to work on starting to make downloadable content, I just haven’t been able to work on it. I find it so hard to get anything done as I have very little free time. I try to keep the house in order, while keeping to my cleaning schedule. With a little human always under my feet or seeking my attention every five minutes of every day.

Golden Week

While this month actually started off a lot better than the previous months. It was a busy week.

Here in Japan, it was Golden week in the first week of May. There are four bank holiday days in a row. It was also the first time my Husband had those days off. He usually had to work, so we didn’t get to spend a lot of time together. Its probably also the longest his has been home and not been sick.

However, as an introvert, I had a fairly stressful time. Whenever my husband is home, he prefers to go out or go to see family or friends. While I am not saying its a bad thing. I just find some situations difficult to deal with. I also recently realised that I’m also over stimulated mother, which adds to everything.

Do you ever feel yourself snapping at your kids or partner when you’re not even angry, you’re just overwhelmed. That’s called overstimulation and it happens when your brain has 50 tabs open and trying to move back and forth is both frustrating and overwhelming.

The Overstimulated Mommy

I feel like if we go out a lot, we’ll return to a dirty house as I let everything pile up. Feeling useless as I wasn’t able to keep on top of everything. I also feel like my husband will judge me as I am at the SAHM parent. Its bad enough that if I don’t do most of the big chores, they won’t get done. While my husband helps with cooking, washing the dishes, and doing the laundry. Its great that he does it. Yet I have everything else do it. Even chores that I didn’t realise was so important until I started looking into cleaning trackers. Keeping a house running really does take a lot of time. I never realised how much my mother had to deal with until now. My previous post “ SAHM are Superheroes” really is true.

Gemini May Theme Spreads

I have definitely found that using 3 sides for my weekly spreads works well for me. Especially as I can track of everything I want, still write notes, and write my struggles and highlights of each day. I have also managed to limit my time on filling it in better.

This month’s weekly spreads theme is more minimalistic than my previous. As I didn’t want to spend a lot of time making it each week. Its very easy to do each time. Its a bit contrast to all all the trackers. They took a lot of time to do, as I had to calculate how make the semi-circle trackers. The cleaning tracker took me 3 attempts to get right.

Using a simpler weekly spread, means that there isn’t really any changes needed for the following week. Resulting in being able to sketch the following week’s spread a couple of days earlier. It feels more organised to do it this way. I am still unsure about making more than one weeks spread, just in case I feel there should be a change. Plus, doing the following week’s spread is part of my weekly spread. So I feel I can organise everything a little better if I can take it one week at a time.

Conclusion

I keep saying that I plan to post more, or work on my time management skills. Yet I just can’t seem to get everything done, and I don’t want to keep making promises I can’t keep. So I hope I can post soon.

If this month continues as it is now, there is a fair chance that I feel more able to do things, then I can open my sketch book again. While it is great to keep the Bujo going, I feel like I need to fully relax with sketching again.

~Thank you~