It really is amazing how much SAHM’s (Stay At Home Mother’s) really do but are so unappreciated. I never realised what it was like doing the most stressful job ever, until my little one was born. Nothing really prepared me for motherhood. I have been struggling to find time to do everything this month. For those SAHM’s who are able manage their time and get everything done, you are a miracle!

    Journal

    There is so many things I have wanted to do during March, but my focus has totally shifted towards my journal again. I am not one who is able to make a full set of weekly spreads in one go. As I have a habit of changing my mind half way through. In addition, I like to experiment with the layouts to find what works. I am still only in my first year of using the Bujo Method.

    I do like using Dutch Doors for my tracker pages for each month. To me it feels more connected, as they are clearly grouped together. It also saves on having to do the same headers over and over again.

    As I mentioned before I like to edit the layout after trying it for a week. With my weekly spreads in March changed a lot throughout the month. I started using Dutch Doors, but I felt like I was wasting paper having to cut off more pages than I had liked. As well as feeling like I was writing too much to try to fill in the space.

    As you can see, it drastically changed and I liked the double page better. It fits the style of the month better and the bullets are shorter. Yet I wanted to make a spread that spans over 3 pages. I want to start keeping track of my daily tasks in my bujo. I tried looking on Pinterest, searching for weekly bujo layout for ideas. Yet nothing really sparked any ideas.

    April’s Collection

    Luckily, I managed to figure it out for my first April spread. It maybe weird to some. But as a SAHM, I feel like I need to be more in charge/on top of everything. Having not started this year in the best way possible, I feel like I have not doing the best I can recently and I want to do better. I want to enjoy the time I spend with my LO while I still can.


    I can’t really say this month has been any better as there has been an array of good and bad things. Yet I found out that my husband doesn’t like my temper. If I would shout and take things away from her if she was doing something dangerous. He doesn’t want to speak to me.

    Yes, I admit that shouting is not the best answer to anything. However, as I mentioned in my previous entry A little setback, things are not going well, I think that if the situation needs a little something more, then it is ok. I am hoping that as my LO continues to grow and understand the world better. Then shouting should no longer be used. Please keep in mind, that I am still trying my best with what I have. I don’t have a great support system like other people. It doesn’t help that my husband only has weekends off now, so I rarely get a chance to recharge.

    The Kick

    While I don’t think the way he went about dealing with the situation was right. It was depressing and I felt like my marriage was falling apart. However, this has was probably a good kick that I needed. I have been even more mindful of my shouting. Mostly because I don’t want to be judged as a bad parent by my own husband.


    Thoughts

    now that my LO is 2 years old, I have noticed a changed in her clinginess. It has become a blessing and a curse. While I love all the cuddles and the boundless love I get from her, she prevents me from doing so much during the day. The only time I can get things done, is while my LO is asleep. Not that the timing of getting down at night is ideal. No matter what I do, she still goes to be after 10pm if she has had a nap during the day.

    Thus, SAHM’s who have all if this sorted out, or are some sort of system in place, you are my idol. While I have made many daily schedules, and we have one we kind of follow, I am struggling to juggle everything. I have been doing ok with a cleaning schedule. There have been a few days in a row where I have lacked motivation to get any of it done.

    It’s the little things

    While recent events have not helped things very well. I am hoping that with little adjustments it will help more in the long run. I hope that starting on Monday, I can start going out for morning walks with my LO. Only just around our area at first. As the weather is finally getting ideal and my LO longs to run around more. Its the perfect month to start. The bonus is the walking will do me some good personally as well. Being stuck without a car again is isolating.

    It has only just dawned on me, that at 3 years old, my LO will be starting Kindergarten. She will be able to meet more children her age and start forming bonds with others. This also starts her school life and that is something I am dreading. The PTA here in Japan is a daunting thing to me. I don’t know how the hell I am going to get through it all. How I will cope with most of the meetings on my own? My Japanese level is still pretty low and while I have been doing Duolingo everyday for over a year now, I still lack confidence in speaking.


    Goals

    While I tried my best to get my project back up and rolling again. I have been struggling with digitally painting the image. While I love how people can create a beautiful painted image, I just get envious. I have watched so many tutorial videos on YouTube, but when I go to try things out, it never goes to plan. Maybe I am over-complicating things. I should really just go back to simple cell shading, until I am happy with what I am creating.

    Even though I might be having difficulties with my Digital art, I have found that my pencil sketches turn out a lot better. Maybe its because I can’t zoom in a lot in the image and that is my downfall with digital painting. I’ll continue to work on the image I am working on and upload it this month. I still want to work on these images, as they are good way to share what I am struggling with, and maybe other mother’s can easily relate to them as well.


    Conclusion

    I really hope that I can comfortably explore using my Bujo and hopefully gain enough experience to share my ideas on online shop websites to help create more of an income while I figure out what it is I truly want to do once my child is off to school.

    Even though I seem to go through a lot each month, hoping that once I am able to sort out the fluctuational moods, I can really start to fulfil my promise. I really do want to blog more and help share more of my journey in all of this. All I can do is to try my best to update things in the next coming weeks. I know that time management is key, but I am not a Superhero SAHM. I am going to do my best nonetheless.

    ~Thank you~